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31 December 2012 @ 02:20 am
End of the Year Quiz!  
This is gonna have to be my new tradition. I also did 2009 and 2011.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
cried three times at the same movie... been to the hospital... gotten a *seasonal* job... been to Eurodisney... had an actual boyfriend... had a Valentine for that matter (omg I literally typed Valjean the first two times)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't tend to make resolutions, but this year I'm thinking I'll make some basic ones like "change underwear and socks every day" and "take showers more often" because I pretty much let myself get stinky there for a while

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Arthur Pendragon

5. What countries did you visit? France, Iceland (kind of not really), the US

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
a big girl job, an apartment, the ability to pay student loans, florent mothe's hand in marriage

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I guess October 23rd, the day I finally came home.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting all my belongings down to three suitcases so i could come home without extra baggage fees? not spending the summer on the street?

9. What was your biggest failure?
trusting other people with my future

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
the kids i took care of got me sick a lot, and also there was that time i literally almost died of that massive bilateral pulmonary embolism

11. What was the best thing you bought?
the plane ticket home

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Florent Mothe (I'll leave this from last year, but also Mr Vincent and my nice olden-days host family for taking me in when my job with the less-nice host family ended)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
all the people who acted like they were so desperate for me to come home to be near them and then magically disappeared as soon as i stumbled out of the train

14. Where did most of your money go?
Le Centre Hôpitalier de Neuilly-sur-Seine et Courbevoie

15. What were you really, really, really excited about?
come home and being reunited with american food and my mom's dumb dog

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
hmm... i guess this was my place je passe year

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder?
well... i was a wreck then because of maktav and that host family but i also had a lot of hope for my frenchtastic future, and now i'm confident and happily relationshipless but i'm also totally lost when it comes to my future and feel like nobody really gives a shit, so i'm not sure

b) Bigger or smaller? i think i gained weight with that host family cause i was stress-eating all the damn time, like jars and jars of nutella went missing from their pantry, but now i'm learning healthy eating and ways to not die and hummus = thinner blood

c) Richer or poorer? well my job at target has put over a thousand dollars in the bank so technically richer but not by much

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
i'll never not regret missing my best chance to see london, cardiff, and vienna... and godDAMMIT where is my floto with máté kamarás

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
forming blood clots that spanned my aorta and many smaller arteries

20. How did you spend Christmas?
with my family again, getting presents that were *almost* what I asked for and munching on a delicious cookie dough cheesecake made by yours truly

21. How many one-night stands?
I don't think that one guy that wasn't Vincent (or Maktav) counts as one-night stands at all, like we went on a date first and it was three different weekends, so zero again

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
i did a lot of learning to love myself, which was cool and a lot more fun
but i do love mr vincent in friend way

23. What was your favourite TV programme?
SO MANY. Merlin gets top billing for having such a perfect finale, but also Elementary, Modern Family, all things RuPaul, Grimm, The Vampire Diaries (I'm finally admitting it!), all those Big Fat Quiz specials that randomly came out a month ago, Miranda omg, ummmm... a lot of things. Ooh, Once Upon a Time was good too.

24. How will you see in the New Year?
eight hour shift at target, then if i can still stand my family is gonna drag me to one of their friends' parties because all my stupid friends have more important plans (as always) and the damn cinema is closing at SEVEN this new years for some reason so i can't go see the hobbit which was my original plan

25. Do you hate / dislike anyone now that you didn't hate / dislike this time last year?
I had a pretty big turnaround on that front. I initially thought it was just a difficult patch and once I'd calmed down I'd be able to close the gap again, but once I realized how totally unimportant and replaceable I was I lost the desire to "apologize" or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to someday do.
Oh, and also Patrice Maktav.
I don't believe in hating humans, but I am very capable of disrespecting the shit out of them.

26. What was the best book you read?
Reading came back into my life this year! I did enjoy Great Expectations, was sort of interested in La Cousine Bette, and then suddenly HUNGER GAMES and I was like OH SHIT I REMEMBER WHEN BOOKS WERE FUN TO READ

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I guess 1789, because that's the only new music in my life that doesn't suck (Adam et Eve) except for that one song Colin and Bradley made me love, that You're the voice one.

28. What did you want and get?
a dramatic goodbye sequence with florent mothe that i'm pretty sure i've never told you guys about
a backstage tour of the PDS
dove attia knows my face

29. What did you want and not get?
to be in nyc right now
flotos with máté UGH
a big dramatic goodbye sequence with mikele
those amazing pink pumps from payless

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
-The Avengers
-Madagascar 3 (shut up it was SO FUNNY HELP)
-The Hobbit (but I have to see it again to confirm because blowing them all out of the water was)
-Les Misérables

31. What did you do on your birthday?
vincent took me to eurodisney, which was cute but all the rides gave me headaches and i started thinking about my own mortality

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if i had those pink shoes from payless and a lot more money

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
I feel good about this one. I like bright, saturated colors to make my skin look paler, especially hot pink. Lots of heels, lots of dresses, lots of colorful tights, flaunting my body shape rather than "flattering" it, hair a different shade of dark red every few months, dark red or annoyingly pink lipstick... good year.

34. What kept you sane?
same answer as last year: place, je passe, je suis roi de mes rêves!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think the answer to this will just have to be Florent Mothe for the rest of my life until my dying day.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
this was the year i became a social justice activist on tumblr, so I learned about the fact that racism still is a thing (i know, but it was literally news to me), accepting all shades of sexuality/gender identity, appropriation (literally knew shit-all nothing about that), and ableism. But also there are the ones that affect me directly--feminism and sizism. I was so happy to discover the body-positive movement, because wow did it do wonders for the way I carry myself and think of myself.

37. Who did you miss?
Another one that will probably say Florent Mothe for the rest of eternity. But this year I missed a lot of people (most of them UNWORTHY ASSHOLES but there were some good ones in there too)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Probably Vincent... he's pretty much the only significant new person I met in 2012. I'm starting to love the nurse who takes my INR though, omg she's such a sweetie.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
1. Always have a plan B, because literally no one can be trusted.
2. If you suddenly find yourself in a place where EVERYTHING makes you cry but you weren't weepy before, you might be repressing the fact that you're just plain unhappy.
3. If you inhale all the way and that gives you chest pain, don't wait until you've passed out in the street to go to a doctor. Part two, if you've passed out in the street and breathing is difficult, GET YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL AT ONCE even if you ARE an illegal alien.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Ich wachse und lerne und bleibe doch wie ich bin
-because I realize the shit I love doesn't really change overall, and while I'm glad to be introduced to new things and think through old things, no matter how much I feel changed the fact is that I'm fucking consistent, like wow I've had the same favorite shows and movies for years, and I realize that actually it's pretty nice to know that I don't necessarily need another person's input to define me (though I'm not saying I reject it); I'm not the kind of person who adapts to a new friend so quickly that it's impossible to figure out who I am outside of the context of that friend, and even if that means it's harder to find people to relate to, it also means that I'm fucking consistent and I'm not going to shock you or abandon you the way some people would, because when I decide to like something/someone, it takes a massive betrayal to change my mind.
(alternatively "Ich warte auf Freunde und süche Geborgenheit", lol)

41. What was your favourite moment of the year?
It was a pretty rough year and that's hella obvious. I'm glad Obama got reelected, but while I was watching that part on tv I had one of the worst things of the year thrown in my face, so it's hard to separate the two. Wow, this question was so easy to answer last year. I think it was the moment I got off the plane at JFK and was walking through the halls knowing I was fucking back. I mean, yeah, nobody gave enough shits to meet me at the airport and I basically almost got kidnapped trying to get out of there with my giant suitcases, but the moments leading up to the first warning that I couldn't trust people were so beautiful. The ads all over the tunnel out of the plan saying shit like WELCOME TO AMERICA and I was just so, so happy to have made it. I'm kinda tearing up remembering how good I felt then.

42. What was your least favourite moment of the year?
Okay, there are two and I genuinely think the first one is worse:
1. The time that host family forced me to do karaoke in front of everybody and ignored me when I said I didn't want to and threw a mic in my hand and put on L'Assasymphonie and then everybody just stood there staring at me judging me for not wanting to sing, oh goddd that was so embarrassing, and finally I FINALLY got the mic passed off to the kids and went to hide my shame in the kitchen and some random dude comes up and is like, "You're not representing your country well because Americans are supposed to be fun"????? UGH.
2. Being in the hospital during the avant-première of 1789 and during my hour of wifi seeing that Flo had been there, and feeling sure I had missed my last ever opportunity to see him ever. Oh, wait, also the part where they said "Vous allez devoir rester quelques jours", when I first realized they weren't going to just hand me a pill and let me out, and then a few minutes later when another nurse told me I wasn't going to be allowed to get on the plane home.

43. Where were you when 2012 began?
about ten steps away from Pont Alexandre III, watching the Eiffel Tower light up in a crowd of disappointed tourists

44. Who were you with?
two weird British guys with bad teeth who kept giving us champagne

45. Where will you be when 2012 ends?
either sulking in bed or at this stupid party with a bunch of people i dont know

46. Who will you be with when 2012 ends?
my parents' friends, oh joy

47. What was your favourite month of 2012?
oh my god 2012 sucked BALLS, literally none of the months were good
October I guess? Because once they let me out of the hospital I had a couple little 1789 adventures, and on days when I was miserable Vincent let me drink his booze until I was ranting at the people on Project Runway, and I didn't have any obligations or anything, plus I was so excited about my future then.

48. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2012? Not really. I learned it takes about 1/4 a bottle of wine for me to start rolling around acting stupid, but I think I only got to do that like four times overall. Tried beer a couple times but ew to it. Vodka turned out to be alright when disguised by fruit juice. Gin and tonic is a big no. Overall though there's not much point to any of it unless I just want to be drowsy and foolish.

49. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2012? I saw drugs for the first time in my life! I was at a party thing and some people were smoking weed with a tiiiiny little pipe. They offered it to me but I said nahhh don't wanna be a n00b amongst you experienced folk and they were fine with that, more weed for them!

50. How many people did you sleep with in 2011?
two, don't tell my obliviously religious parents

51. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
oh probably, i spent every waking moment being ashamed of something as an au pair

52. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2012?
she didn't know it was a lie at the time, so the worst betrayal probably doesn't fit the criteria
OH that guy who wasn't vincent was gonna call me but then he never did but oh well i went off and met vincent, lol, and then he went and tried to text me like months later ON THE SAME DAY Maktav reappeared from somewhere also wanting to talk to me? They allll come crawling back in the end.

53. Did you treat somebody badly in 2012?
I was probably as difficult for Vincent to deal with as he was for me to deal with here and there, but overall my lesson of the year was that I don't treat people badly enough to the point where they treat ME badly

54. Did somebody treat you badly in 2012?
oh my GOD. that mean host family WOW, their kids but they're kids so they have an excuse i guess, the host family i interviewed with once i told them i changed my mind, the lumpy blood in my own damn veins, this one lady at work named robin who needs to CHECK HERSELF, and obviously all the people who pretended they wanted to hang out with me until i actually showed up

56. How much money did you spend in 2012?
literally everything that i earned in my year as an au pair went to the french hospital, like i actually spent my last €4 on potato chips the morning i left the country

57. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2012 and change what?
hmm. I don't know, I try not to regret shit and if I changed anything then other stuff would have come out differently, so... okay, I know, I would have gone to T-Mobile and gotten a new SIM card for my French phone rather than buying this STUPIDASS $12 walmart phone with a Verizon plan. But I'm going to fix that within the week I think. OH and I would have bought those pink shoes as soon as I saw them rather than trusting my mom to get them for Christmas.

58. What are your plans for 2013?
find a way to make enough money for rent and student loans, dress like a badass, refuse to conform by shaving, get my epic multifandom thigh tattoo for doctor who's 50th birthday (i guess i'll shave my thigh for that, lol), and ummm get to a more interesting location such as nyc, though that's looking borderline goddamn impossible

Ew I ended it on a sour note. Well this has been kind of a sour year. I mean for other people I guess it would be a fine year (minus nearly dying and finding out your friends don't care about you) but to fill out this quiz I was deleting my answers from LAST year when I had become the world's best groupie and recently been deflowered by my then-celebrity crush and followed that up with three first dates in one weekend, so like... deleting that and throwing in how stupid this year as been made me crankier and crankier.

Let's hope next year I'll be able to delete these answers and fill in something a lot perkier.